Photoshop Tutorial Rap

I just saw this in a blog I was reading. I realize it's a few weeks old but I can't stop laughing. Please enjoy!

Screw You, Maximum Games

As most of you already know, I am a NBA fanatic. With this addiction comes an obsessive fantasy basketball habit that I just can’t kick. This year I am playing the yahoo sports version. I have played in this league before as well as a few others. Unlike the past few years, this time around I actually have a kick-ass team. I am also the only female manager in my league, which consists of 12 teams. I was in first place for the first few months and quite pleased with myself. Then I remembered the ole “Maximum Games” rule and had to make a more tactical play for the top.

For those of you that haven’t had to deal with this ridiculous rule, let me explain.

Each spot on your roster (not each player) allows for a maximum number of games played. Once you exceed the maximum, you will no longer accumulate stats for the position. Of course since this is basketball there are a shite load of games played and the "allowed" number for each position is way off.

Now I am forced to sit people out by the masses in order to be able to compete at the end of the season. I try and make my decisions strategically, examining the match ups and if the player is playing a home or an away game. Even with meticulous planning, I always end up benching some fairly decent player on the night that he has the game of his life.

Right now I have slipped to third place and I still have a bad ratio of maximum games to actual games. It’s hard to justify ever benching Kobe unless maybe he is playing the Heat (painful Christmas performance Kobes). Anyway it’s a long season and I need to bench more guys and just ride it out to the bitter end.

I just wanted to say once again cause it gives me a little bit of fleeting pleasure, SCREW YOU MAXIMUM GAMES!

Flashback to 1994

Last night I was lucky enough to catch Weezer’s Memories Tour, where they played their greatest hits from the last 16 years and the entire Blue Album straight through. The show was amazing. At first I was shocked that they broke it up into 2 sets because the first set (greatest hits) was only about 40-minutes long. 

When the band came back it was as though a time warp had swept through the building. The whole demeanor of the evening changed and I was transported back to 1994. Rivers and company did an amazing job recreating the tone of the times. They rocked that mother ship shaped auditorium with a good old-fashioned deafening show.

The whole night made nostalgic for those simple but crazy times of my youth. It also had me pondering the things that really mattered to me in 1994. 

Here are a few of those things:

The untimely death of Kurt Cobain

Graduating HS

My first trip to Seattle where I stalked Eddie Vedder and met some members of Soundgarden

Watching the X-Files

Flannel shirts

Seeing the Grateful Dead’s Summer Tour

Undone – the Sweater Song

Ann Rice’s The Vampire Chronicles (this is when I began my vampire novel)

Brad Pitt in Legends of the Fall (the scene where he rides in on the horse is the best)

Drinking cheap wine bought by my older legal friends (Glen Ellen White Zinfandel, the fat bottle)

Thanks Weezer for helping me take my own personal trip down memory lane.

I Give Thanks For...

Things I am grateful for:

My parents have an incredible wine cellar but only bust out the good stuff on special occasions and holidays like Thanksgiving.

Pine Ridge's 3 awesome cabs that more than satisfied my family of winos.

Friends who have been there to support me.

Turkey, stuffing, pies, and homemade cranberry sauce.

The sun.

Although I know it won’t last forever, my fantasy team is still on top.

The fact that Bikini season is a long way off AND my leggings are spacious.

The Buffy’s fondness for eating human food, tolerating unruly children, and sliding belly first across the incredibly long table.

That I don’t have any unruly children just yet.

Most importantly, I am grateful for my family. We have been through a lot this year and it's nice to come together on a happy occasion.

The Strategy of Fantasy Team Names..

As most of you already know, I am a NBA fanatic. Last year I was too late to participate in the fantasy season, so this year I pounced on the opportunity immediately. I am not someone who joins a league for money or to compete with friends. I enjoy joining a random public league and battling it out with complete strangers. This season I started paying too much attention to the names of the other teams in my league. I have become so obsessed by these ridiculous names, that I have started wondering if there is some sort of hidden strategy behind them.

First of all, I am the only female manager and I have a kickass team. I know it’s early and I am probably headed for a huge fall but so far I have been on top. It helps that I have Kobe, Kevin Love, and D. Rose. The name of my team is Whatev (this is a word I used to say a little too much and also the name of my jewelry line). While this is far from the best name ever it reveals something about my personality as well as my interests.

Listed below are the other names of fantasy teams in my league. I am going to make my own hypothesis about the brilliant strategy behind these 11 team names.

Whitey Ford – this guy is a huge baseball fan probably from NY (since that is where Whitey played) or a racist.

Slammer – this is the quintessential fantasy basketball team name that lacks true vision. It’s like naming your cat, Kitty.

Bulls – this name obviously lacks creativity. He is probably a Bulls fan from Chicago. He has Noah on his team. BORING!

Squirrels – hmmm… his team is small and quick, he likes furry animals, gathering nuts, and Richard Gere.

Throbbers- this sounds like a nasty porn name. I bet this guy spends a little too much time on the Internet.

Jaden- I see him as the quiet sensitive type instead of having a tattoo with his son’s name on it, he names his fantasy team after his kid.

Stormtroopers- Best name by far. I love this geek wherever he is. He is my new hero. Hopefully he will climb the fantasy ranks as long as he stays below me. After all he does have Kevin Durant.

Philippine Crusaders – This guy is from the Philippines and he is passionate and dedicated to his team. Right now they aren’t very good. He has the Baron Davis jinx.

Lakers – once again lack of imagination. I understand you are a Lakers fan. I am too but can’t you come up with a better way of expressing it? The Kobe Beefs or something? Btw he doesn’t even have any Lakers on his team (I have 2).

L. James Champions – the worst name yet. Only a d-bag would name his team that. Guess who isn’t even on the team? He doesn’t have LeBron but he does have Wade. He must be from Miami. That is the only place left that actually likes LeBron.

Beast – I actually don’t know what to think of this one. It’s probably some kinda inside joke. His team is decent but for some reason he is in last place. Let’s hope that Beast takes out the L. James Champions on his way up.

May the best team win or Whatev!

A Few Things I Forgot About Boston

The Charles

As many of you know I am an East Coaster. Born and bred in NY, I have always taken pride in my East Coast roots. This past week I traveled back to the Boston area, a spot that I have not been to in about 5 years. What I discovered (besides that fact that I am now a weather wimp) is that there are many things, I have forgotten about Boston.

1. I forgot what a total pain in the ass it is to drive a frakkin Roundabout. For those of you who have no clue what I am talking about, they are sometimes called traffic circles or rotaries. No matter what you call them, New England drivers always screw them up.

2. The weather can be bitter cold even in November. I forgot what it feels like to have your nose freeze. Thank you, walk around the Charles River. Side note: when I arrived it was unusually warm about 70 degrees. Within 2 days it dropped down to 40.

3. Walking across the street in downtown Boston is hard. They don't actually stop for pedestrians like California. They also have confusing crosswalks. With all the Irish pubs surrounding the city, I am surprised drunk college students don't get run over on a daily basis. Let's just say that my brother and I had a little trouble this Halloween crossing the street.

4. In my opinion the Boston Subway system (The T) is the best I have every experienced. If only it was so easy to get around in all major cities. Plus an added bonus is that the T unlike the NY subway system is relatively clean.

5. Everyone in Boston owns some kind of Red Sox gear. I realize every American city has its share of fans BUT when it comes to die-hard fanatics Boston takes first place. I know this sounds ironic coming from me a Yankees fan. NYers are just as passionate about the Yankees but we also have a huge Met fan base.

6. I am not a young college student anymore and I can't party like one.

Rachel Goes to Hollywood Part II

The next Hollywood event we attended was more of an intimate gathering. Bill Maher one of my favorite political comedians was getting a star on Hollywood BLVD (actually it was on a side street next to the infamous Hollywood BLVD). We arrived early hoping to get a prime spot. Luckily we were able to score the front row behind all the photographers and video cameras. We were about five feet from the man-made stage built especially for the ceremony.

The star is located in front of the side entrance to the new W Hotel. Unlike the Easy A premiere, we only had to wait about an hour for the festivities to begin. Around 11am the celebrities started arriving but they all bundled up behind the podium. The crowd was full of comedians some famous some unknown and all personal friends of Bill Maher. Our crowd was a mixture of Autograph addicts, Super Fans, Tourists, and random people. Only one paparazzi was there. He stood 7-feet tall and when this giant would pivot his body to take a picture, he would completely block my view of all the action. Luckily right before the festivities began he had to move his car. He asked me to save his spot but the moment he left hordes of anxious fans stepped into his place. Since they were appropriately sized, I didn’t say a word.

Promptly the show began and it was a cross between a roast and a street-side gathering of comedians. I honestly didn’t realize how funny Larry King was. Seth Macfarlane gave a brilliant introduction making both political and religious jokes that were hilarious. As Bill Maher took center stage, I noticed a vulnerability that I had never seen before. No question about it, he was hysterical especially when he thanked Sarah Palin and George Bush for his star. Through his humor it was also obvious that underneath he was really touched and thankful to be standing there.

Once the ceremony was completed Bill and the other comedians signed autographs and took pictures with fans. The highlight of the afternoon for me was meeting Seth MacFarlane and taking a picture with one of my favorite character actors/comedians, Larry Miller. The strangest celebrity sighting of the day was Kato Kaitlin who apparently still has tons of fans. In fact as I walked passed, I heard one of them scream, “Kato you can totally crash at my place.” After my celebrity Hollywood adventure I definitely have more of an understanding of why normal people obsess and idealize famous people. It is easy to get sucked into the glitz and the glamour when the lines between fantasy and reality are blurred. Stay tuned for the final part of my Rachel Goes to Hollywood series.

Buffy vs Mr.Wonderful

 As most of you know I am kinda a crazy cat lady. I am also a little obsessed with my cat Buffy. Recently another cat has been challenging Buffy's territory and bullying her. My brother and I know from actual experience that Buffy can be tough, so we have decided to be her Jedi masters and train her in the ways of the Kitty Force.

Ironically her nemesis is named Mr. Wonderful, my neighbor's cat. He seems innocent with his heart shaped nametag but the moment are backs are turned he pins her down and tries to bite her.

This first video depicts Buffy cleaning herself to prepare for training. It's like wax on wax off but with a lot more licking involved.

Rachel Goes to Hollywood Part I

Last week I took a trip to Los Angeles with my brother to tag along while he took pictures at a few celebrity events. My brother is an independent photographer who frequents these events all the time. Sometimes he is stationed with the photographers on the red carpet. At other events such as this particular movie premiere, he was forced to mix it up with the paparazzi and superfans that wait across the street. He has always been sort of a follower of all the glitz and glamour of Hollywood. I, on the other hand, have always admired certain actors/actresses from afar. I never really thought of intentionally seeking out the rich and the famous. Imagine my surprise when I had the chance to observe what actually happens from the fan side of things.

Easy A Premiere

We arrive to the gated area directly across from the red carpet at 4:00pm. We are on the corner of Hollywood and Orange across from the Chinese Theater. To the left of us is the Roosevelt Hotel in all its old school Hollywood glory. To the right of us is American Apparel and Hooters. I think about slipping away to buy some leggings, as my brother attempts to see the score of the Jets game through the Hooters window (Monday Night Football).

As we wait for the stars to arrive (they were scheduled for 6:00pm) I scan the crowd. I watch the crowd intently for the next two hours. Occasionally the people walking by distract me. I make a mental note that Hollywood Blvd is an amazing people watching scene. Tourists with giant cameras around their necks ask me what’s going on as they stare directly at the movie premiere posters. The time is now 6:15 and the red carpet is still empty. The movie was supposed to start at 7:30 but they are obviously running way behind schedule. By this time I have segmented the crowd into 5 different groups.

The Superfans – These avid fans love the particular actors from this movie. They are radiating so much excitement that it’s as though they drank a case of rockstar and two large coffees. I am exhausted from the 6- hour drive but their energy is contagious. All they really want is to catch a glimpse of Emma Stone (Zombieland) or Penn Badgley (Dan from Gossip Girl). They are praying that he comes across the street to sign autographs and take pictures. They are constantly updating their Facebook status and wait anxiously for the stars to arrive.

Autograph Addicts & Collectors – These fanatics are addicted to meeting and collecting autographs from celebrities. They are not fans of a particular actor/actress but of all famous people. Collectors carry homemade signs and t-shirts catering to whichever celebrity is at the event they are. They lug around hundreds of photographs just in case they run into a certain celebrity.

There is some overlapping between the Superfans and the Autograph addicts. Both don’t mind waiting for hours just to get a tiny glimpse of how the other half lives.

Paparazzi/ Videographers/ Independent Photographers – These three groups of people each have different purposes but the same goal. Photographers and videographers that were unable to get a press pass for the night’s event (my brother) take matters into their own hands and take pictures from across the street. The Paparazzi wait for the stars to cross the street, even though their enormous zoom lens captures all of the red carpet excitement.

Tourists – The Chinese Theater is a major tourist trap. People come there to sightsee and see the red carpet and the posters. They ask what is going on and usually stick around looking for that elusive story. “Last week I was in LA and I met…”

Random Happenings – Local people walking by sometimes stumble into a celebrity event by accident.

The time is now 7:15 and finally we see some action. Black SUV’s start to pull up. The crowd shouts out different names. You see tons of flashing from the photographers on the carpet. Penn Badgley and Emma Stone come across the street. I feel myself start to scream and giggle like a schoolgirl. Penn approaches where I am standing and is prompted by his PR woman to turn around. They are running late. I scream out OMFG. More shrieks from the crowd. Taylor Swift gets out of her car. My line is blurred. I am no longer an observer but just another Superfan.

Serving Justice and Serving the Community

Jury Duty Observation 8/23/10

There is a quiet march from the designated jury parking area to the Civic Center entrance. I scan the crowd and see tired frustrated faces and an army of Starbucks coffee cups. We reach the building and there is a long line for the elevator. I try to take the stairs but I am told that the doors are locked and the elevator is our only hope. The elevator arrives and we squeeze into it like silent sardines.

The elevator door opens and there is a concert like line to get into room 244. On line I break the silence and chat with the guy in front of me. His name is Jesse. We poke fun at this awkward experience. The hallway is boiling from the skylights. We admire Frank Lloyd Wright’s architecture and giggle in front of the coroner’s office. The line moves slowly and Jesse informs me that he forgot his jury summons at home. I promise to save him a seat as I look around the cramped space. The clock strikes 9 and I prepare for a long sweaty day.

As I sit down I glance around at all of the other unlucky people who have been chosen for Jury Duty. Some have lugged their computers and are determined to work. Many people are on their phones saying that they won’t be in today. The laptop workaholics all have earphones on.

Why is their no air-conditioning? Is feels like 90 degrees. Figures I would be baking in here on our three days of Bay Area summer.

The woman next to me is reading a parenting magazine. She is about 6 months pregnant and looks really uncomfortable. She smiles sweetly as we silently acknowledge each other’s suffering.

Across from me a woman in a blue shirt reads poetry out loud dramatically to the man sitting next to her. She tells him that she used to be a Celtic Storyteller and Harp Player but now she is a Biologist.

In the row directly in front of me an older woman shops on the Marc Jacobs website. She is wearing a fashionable grey blazer and tiny hoop earrings. She is probably in her late 60’s.

There are two women sitting next to the older fashionista. They are old friends. It’s been a while since they have seen each other. They discuss kids, divorce, and therapy. It sounds like one of them had a really messy divorce. Once I hear talk of sex after divorce, I intentionally tune out. Their conversation has taken an intimate turn that I am not going to intrude on.

Jesse finally takes the seat I have been saving for him. He had to fill out a bunch of forms. A woman moves to the front of the room and starts to explain what will happen for the Newbies. I have done this several times before. She is hysterical. She makes jokes about lack of caffeine, smokers, and the amazing pay of $15 a day; we will receive if we are chosen for a case. She pops in a campy video for us to watch. Jesse and I proceed to mock the inspirational music that is playing during the video. The video is called, “Jurors: Serving Justice, Serving the Community.”

During the video I notice people sleeping, texting, emailing, and chatting. A select few are really focused on what is going on. Those are definitely the people that want to serve on a jury.

The video ends. I update my FB status and answer a few emails. Thank you iPhone. I hear a vigorous tapping of keys from the laptopers. Jesse is doing a crossword puzzle. I start to realize just how confined the space around me really is and feel hotter.

Our resident comedian and jury room MC starts to call some names to go to the first courtroom. We were told that 4 different courtrooms need jurors this morning. The 1^st round of jurors leave in herds like cattle. Unfortunately, I wasn’t one of them and Jesse was. I wave goodbye to my comrade. A cool breeze fills the room. Less people means more air. I wait for the next call.

An older woman in her 70’s with a colorful sweater and wire-rimmed glasses reads the paper and eats a blueberry muffin. I am suddenly famished and sweaty at the same time. How can she wear a wool sweater in this heat?

The poetry woman is at it again. She is trying to recite her selected poems from memory but is having a little trouble.

People are starting to talk to each other out of boredom. The ice is finally broken. Our comic MC comes back. She says that this time the names called will go to courtroom D as in Daniel Day Lewis. For a moment I think of the last scene of, There Will be Blood, and want to scream out, “I’m finished.” Thankfully my name is called.

I pick up my badge and follow the others down a few flights of stairs to the court floor. We wait in a long line to go through security. I make friends with one of the freshly divorced women. She is friendly. We walk through security to Daniel Day Lewis’s courtroom and wait outside to be let in. I feel like all jury duty consists of is waiting in lines.

 Eventually the courtroom opens and we all file in. Air-conditioning surrounds us. There aren’t many seats left. I gulp as I realize we have to sit in the designated jury box. I notice there isn’t anyone else in the courtroom besides the Bailiff and us. No lawyers. The judge enters the room and informs us that while we were waiting outside the lawyers reached an agreement in this criminal case. He graciously thanks us for our time and says we are free from jury duty for two years. A collective cheer fills the room. As we stand up to exit the courtroom a sense of freedom and relief sweeps over me. Next stop a huge breakfast and Rodeo Beach…

Hoodmapping in the Outer Sunset

Hoodmapping Destination: Java Beach Café (Outer Sunset)

8/3/10 11:30-12:30

Notes:

As I walk in and scan the place, I am actually blown forward by the wind. The faint smell of the ocean surrounds me. I am suddenly famished. I wait in the counter line and notice that they have an actual bar made out of old scruffy wood. I already like this place.

The café is small and crowded. There are only 4 tables in front that resemble a wind tunnel (the door is open), 4 tables behind the bar, and about 5 seats at the bar. 4 seems to be the lucky number here. There are also 2 couches and a few outside tables but with this fog and wind, that isn’t an option. Every seat is taken anyway except at the bar. I order quickly (a veggie bagel and a cup of Jasmine Green Tea) and snag a seat at the bar.

I stare at the beers on tap in front of me and make a mental note to come back for happy hour sometime. They have 5 beers and I actually like 3 of them.

There are 4 baristas working behind the scenes to keep everyone happy. 2 women that look like sisters with matching ponytails and features. They are both wearing their Java Beach logo t-shirts. Another woman in a Guinness t-shirt is making espresso. It smells unbelievable. The guy behind the counter is sprucing up the place. He’s the one in charge. He is fully tatted and wearing a Rip Curl t-shirt. Everyone working there has Irish accents. The whole bar/coffee shop theme is starting to make more sense.

The 4 tables behind me are reserved for hard-core laptopers. All Macs. Each of them sits solo typing intensely, plugged happily into the wall.

The woman directly behind me gives her computer a rest and sighs loudly. She picks up her iphone and sends an angry text. She is drinking iced coffee and wearing gloves.

The middle-aged guy next to her types vigorously. Looks like he is answering an email. He is wearing a 49ers jersey and black loafers. His Blackberry shakes the table as it buzzes. He ignores it.

A regular walks in. He chats up the Rip Curl guy. He is wearing dark sunglasses and has a giant guitar on his back. I think it’s a Strat. He looks like Pete Townshend circa 1978. He is even wearing the jumpsuit. Classic. He pours his own coffee and heads outside to sit. Suddenly, “Substitute” by the Who is playing in my head.

Abruptly a family of tourists interrupts my creative vibe. 6 of them push their way towards the bar. There are only 4 empty seats. A couple, and two sets of grandparents. They grab a high chair and block the path to the bathroom. I have to move way down the bar to accommodate them. Really? I am almost sitting on top of where people come to get their drinks and napkins. It’s difficult to take notes. The baby starts to wail. Daddy picks up the baby and thankfully calms him down. Baby daddy is practically pushing me off the bar. I am starting to dislike his thermal shirt wearing, tight jean ass. They talk about Fisherman’s Wharf and how it might be too cold to walk across the GGB. My leg is being pushed up against the bar, while his baby is eating Gerber’s Lasagna and Meat Sauce. That will probably bruise later. I smile as I think of it as my first Hoodmapping battle wound.

An 80’s guy enters, his frizzy hair blowing in the wind. I think he has a tail or some kind of mullet. I anxiously wait for him to turn around. He is wearing a green suede jacket with fringe sleeves. He orders a non-fat latte and catches me looking at him. He smiles. I quickly turn back to my notes and try to look busy.

I see a table open up between 2 of the laptopers. I race towards the table just in time, spilling some of my tea on my jeans. I am happy to have my own space again. I am also relieved that my tea is no longer steaming.

2 pony-tailed firefighters enter, a male and a female. This seems to be the chosen hairstyle of the day. I scan the place and notice 4 other people besides the two baristas with ponytails. He orders a double shot cappuccino and a hot chocolate for his partner. He loudly shouts, “ A Swiss Miss for the Swiss Matron.” She blushes.

A couple sits by the window quietly, computers touching and work spread on their laps. They look peaceful despite the heavy workload.

Rip Curl turns the music up. Sounds like a Mariachi band. I am still thinking about Pete Townshend. I can see him sitting outside at one of the tables smoking. He is now wearing a black trench coat over his jumpsuit.

More and more people enter. The crowd never seems to thin out. They look like Eskimos, marching in with hoodies, scarves, and hats. Maybe they have just come from walking on the beach.

I see a couple coveting my table. Since I am finished with my tea I stand up to leave. Before I am even finished putting on my jacket they are hovering over me.

As I am walking to my car, I see Pete Townshend. He winks at me and gets into his car. I notice that he has an old Caprice police car. Written on the back of his car in huge white letters are the words, UFO Response Team. I crack up as I reach my car. The sun is trying desperately to peak out from behind the dense fog.

Sunday Weekly Recap Rant

Since I am glued to my futon every Sunday night to watch my favorites shows, I have decided to turn my slacker time into something constructive. So begins my weekly recap rant. Caution SPOILER ALERT!

True Blood – This week was a little less bloody and a little more same sex oriented. Sookie wakes up from her coma with tons of Bill’s blood. They break up because he accidentally fed a little too much and tried to rape her. Despite this little misunderstanding, they still love each other. Tara is having major PTSD and it’s even affecting her masturbating time. There is a white trash contest. Who is more trailer park Sam’s family or the inbred meth heads up in Hotshot? Lafayette loves Jesus in a very non-religious way. Eric pretends to be interested in the King’s husband only to get his revenge. Sookie, Bill, and teenage vamp Jessica, fight some werewolves and win. Sookie being not the brightest bulb chooses porno sex with Bill instead of getting up on the sexy and sweet Alcide.

Mad Men – This week was all about Dick. Dick Whitman that is. It was Christmas/ New Year’s break so no fun advertising stories. Dick/ Don goes to Cali and visits the real Don Draper’s wife. They bond. This actually seems to be the most honest and pure relationship he has with a woman. Too bad she is dying of bone cancer and doesn’t know it. He goes back to NY and nurses his conscience with booze and hookers. He brings geeky Brit Lane along for the ride. Usually Madmen’s depiction of the era is dead on but I have 2 major bones to pick this week. I know doctors did smoke in 1965 but isn’t it a little over the top for Joanie’s Gynecologist to be lighting up while she is in the stirrups? AND was a night with a high-end hooker only $25?

Entourage – While Madmen was all about Dick Entourage was all about bush. Turtle fumbles his sexual escapade with Alex because her Brazilian wax startles him. Then he mistakenly takes manscaping advice from Drama. Ari is finally getting screwed ironically; it’s for something he doesn’t really deserve. Vince is turning into an out of control drunk dating the only porn star in town that does not have a Brazilian wax.

Ode to Leo

It’s nice to see that my teenage crush, Leonardo DiCaprio is still alive and kicking. Not only has he remained relevant, but like a fine wine he has gotten better with age. Thankfully, it doesn’t look like he is slowing down anytime soon. When I looked up his vast filmography, I found that he has 22 projects “in development.” Bravo Leo, you totally rock! After being blown away by his role in Inception, I have decided to take a stroll down Leo Lane and comment on his past failures and successes.

This Boy's Life

1993 – This Boy’s Life – Leo breaks onto the scene in this powerful drama with a bang. This is the fist time, I remember seeing him and he manages to hold his own with Robert De Niro and Ellen Barkin. He does an amazing job playing a rebel 50’s teen with an abusive father in the film adaption of Tobias Wolff’s memoirs.

1993 – What’s Eating Gilbert Grape – He earns his first Oscar nomination for his role as Arnie Grape, a mentally challenged 17 year-old boy. Leo should get props for the mere fact that he kept my attention while standing next to a sexy longhaired Johnny Depp. He also does some pretty fantastic acting in this as well.

1995 – The Quick and the Dead – Although this movie should probably go in the failure column (according to critics), I liked it. The lines are cheesy, a great cast of actors (including Gene Hackman and Russell Crowe) over act, and the storyline is weak. This movie is so bad that in my opinion it’s good. Sharon Stone also looks smoking hot in it. Leo’s role is short and he doesn’t even have a name. I think he is actually billed as Kid.

The Basketball Diaries

1995 – The Basket Ball Diaries – This is one of my favorite coming of age/ NYC drug related memoirs. The film rendition of this biography is exceptional. This remains today one of my most watched Leo films. He undoubtedly has one of his signature crying/emotional breakdowns in this movie, when he is begging him mom to let him in the house. That aside, I feel he did a phenomenally realistic job playing a heroin addict. He especially shines in the hard-core withdrawal scenes.

Calling on horny high school girls, Leo is about to embark on his teen heartthrob/ romantic phase. (Btw I am included in this madness)

Romeo & Juliet

1996 – Romeo & Juliet – This is the defining moment where Leo became the object of teenage fantasy. This movie was unprecedented. Baz Luhrmann dreamed up a colorful masterpiece. I am and always was an avid Shakespeare fan. I was at first skeptical of the concept of keeping the original dialogue and placing it in modern times. This hip modern visual adaptation was a groundbreaking experience for me as an angst-ridden teen. Leo’s romantic performance left myself and all my friends desperately wanting to see more of him.

1997- Titanic – You knew this one was coming even though most people wish it wasn’t. I am not even going to comment on this movie. Suffice to say, this was the movie that catapulted our dear Leo to stardom. He had a really hard time choosing movies after this one. He didn’t want to chase the fame or be pigeonholed into playing only one type of role. This newfound life of celebrity status led to a string of bad movies. Some of those disastrous films were: The Man in the Iron Mask, Celebrity, and The Beach.

And then there was a saving grace for Leo… Martin Scorsese.

2002 – Gangs of New York - This was the first of four movies that Leo would collaborate with Scorsese. Gangs was Leo's return to acting for the sake of acting. All the bull shit that plagued him evaporated during the making of this film. He proved that he could hold his own again in a story that was anything but romantic. He seemed to relish the action, blood, and guts. He was able to regain his acting chops with a performance that depicted a much more mature Leo. In my opinion, going toe-to-toe with Daniel Day Lewis made him a better actor.

Catch Me If  You Can

2002- Catch Me If You Can – I loved this movie. Leo proved that he had a knack for the light and funny after the darkness of Gangs of New York. This began a little trip for him into the true stories phase of his career.

2004 – The Aviator – In his second Scorsese film, Leo plays a complex role and nails it. His portrayal of Howard Hughes led to another impeccable performance. He was nominated for an Oscar but unfortunately was overlooked.

In 2006, he continued his road to success with two great roles in The Departed and Blood Diamond.

2010 was a very good for Leo. He had two remarkable performances in highly complex films.

Shutter Island – This was his fourth collaboration with Martin Scorsese who was obviously highly influenced by Hitchcock. I was surprised by how much I actually liked this movie. Usually when a movie takes forever to come out it usually means they are trying to make it better with editing. Despite Scorsese’s reputation of being meticulous, this movie was extremely delayed. I was wrong. This moving was entertaining from the beginning to the end and beautifully shot. Leo did an amazing job and improved his Boston accent from his Departed days. How can you go wrong when you have such talented actors working together? Thank you Ben Kingsley and Mark Ruffalo for playing with Leo on this one.

Inception – I am not going to be one of those people who ruins an intricate movie like this one. I will just say that it is a must see. Christopher Nolan has been amazing since Memento and he remains one of the best directors of my generation. The film is mind-bending and a visual explosion. Leo plays his role with grace and style. A cast that performs brilliantly supports him. Bravo.

Inception

Here’s to you, Leo! Thanks for evolving from my teenage fantasy into a superb actor. Can’t wait to see you as J. Edgar Hoover! Hope you look good in a dress!

TGIS (Thank God It’s Sunday)

Summer television used to be full of reruns, game shows and reality TV, now it is the Mecca of entertainment. Thank you True Blood, Mad Men, and Entourage. I am now a permanent part of my couch/futon on Sunday evenings. Sunday hasn't been this intriguing since the glory days of The Sopranos and Sex and the City.

Let’s recap.

True Blood

As many of you already know, I am a vampire enthusiast. I love True Blood. I have read all 9 Sookie Stackhouse books (reading # 10 right now). It’s the one show that actually is more inventive and entertaining than the books. This is a statement that I rarely make, being an avid reader and a true believer, that books trump movies/TV shows all the time. Although they have changed key parts in the book and accelerated some of the storylines, I am still pleased.

The decision to keep Lafayette alive, invent teenage vamp, Jessica, and add Sam's white trash family, improved the quality and fun of the show. I have one major complaint. It is TOO BLOODY. A little gore is expected and I do love those Ann Rice vampire tears, but come on. Vampires are not that messy. They enjoy drinking blood and would NEVER waste a drop. You would never see a vampire walk into a room with a face covered in blood. That being said, I hope the action and the storylines continue to surprise me this season.

Mad Men

Don Draper has come back in style for season four. He is now a single man struggling to get some lovin in the back of a cab with his blind date. Luckily for Don, he still has his hooker to slap him around on Thanksgiving. The show seems to have taken a turn back to the office, where we love Don the most. Although his little agency lacks a 2^nd floor he still has balls of steel. The way he kicked those clients out of his tableless conference room, when they refused to take a risk was classic. I know many a modern day ad man/woman, who would love to kick some prude-like clients to the curb.

Tonight’s opening scene was brilliantly written. I loved the fact that a one-legged guy from Ad Age interviewed Don. Betty continues to be a bad mother, despite being married to an old mamma’s boy. When did this even happen? Was the ink dry on her divorce? Why are they still living in Don’s house, while he is forced to live in some dingy apartment? Peggy has a new haircut and a fresh rebellious side. Pete is still smarmy and Roger remains king of the one-liners. It looks like it’s going to be a delicious season, even if Don Draper has to shine his own shoes.

Entourage

Entourage is in its 6^th season and to be completely honest, I wasn’t really looking forward to this one. I must say I am pleasantly surprised so far. I loved the show for the first two seasons but by the end of last season, I was finding the show tiresome. How much longer can we live vicariously through Vince and company? When you have seen one Hollywood party, it feels like you have seen them all.

Vince as a character has started to bore me. I may also be a little bias because the actor that plays him had a complicated friendship with one of my best friends. Prejudices aside, his character still runs a little b-flat these days. Refreshingly, this season has a wider focus. Between Turtle’s new business, Eric’s branching out to clients outside of the Vince Universe, and Ari being Ari, the series has taken a turn towards the funny again. With the spotlight shifting from Vince to his crew the series has a new life to it. I almost forgot to mention my all time favorite storyline, Drama coming to the realization that he is funny. Bravo Boys, Bravo.