Since I am utterly disappointed in the contenders for this year’s NBA Finals, I decided to write one last fun blog discussing the league. I have noticed recently that NBA players keep getting more and more hideous and ridiculous tattoos. I thought it would be fun to put them on visual display and comment on just how ludicrous they are.
Chest and Back:
Praying with a Gun - Stephen Jackson
His tattoo of two hands praying with a gun doesn’t surprise me. Although it’s not a shocker is still makes my worst idea to get permanently inked onto your body list.
Crazy Chest Tree – Monta Ellis
Monta Ellis, WTF was going through your mind when you made this unintelligent decision? I understand that you are a family man and love your kid. That is fantastic but scarring your body in this way is just foolish. You are also kind of repetitive. You have a giant tree on your body with a picture of your son and the words “Family First” eternally inked on your chest. Why do you also need Ellis family on your arm? Are you afraid people won’t realize which family you are referring to?
Really? The angel wings and heart shaped tattoo makes Deron William’s panther look downright manly. This is a chick tattoo. Can you imagine the tattoo artist’s face when he picked this feminine design out? Thank god he wears a shirt on the court otherwise all the other players would just laugh him out of the arena.
Super Cool Beas - Michael Beasley
I am sure Beas is his nickname but someone should tell him, if you have to tattoo that you are super cool on your back, it means you aren’t super cool. Plus he needs to hop in a time machine and return those angel wings to the late 80’s early 90’s where they belong.
Chosen 1 - LeBron James
The ego on King James is unprecedented and the fact that he has chosen 1 tattooed across his back is no surprise. He is arrogant, obnoxious, and immature. His back tat reflects exactly who he is.
Neck Tats:
Free Bird – Chris Anderson A.K.A Birdman
Horrible strangulation of color and distaste. Even Lynyrd Skynyrd would cringe if they saw this one!
Virginia Slim - Allen Iverson
Allen used to be one of my favorite players but I will be the first to admit he has a number of stupid tattoos. The most absurd is his prison neck tattoo that has the words “Virginia Slim” surrounded by cobwebs. It just makes him look like a thug out for some yard time.
Swish – J.R. Smith
We all get it J.R.; you like to make the ball go swish. No need to tattoo that piece of info on your neck. Don’t even get me started on the Young Money tat underneath it. This just makes you look like a fool.
Believe – Matt Barnes
I love Matt Barnes. He is kind of a punk so a neck tattoo suits his persona. His choice is just ridiculous, even if he got it when my beloved Warriors were actually good.
Shoulder Tats:
The Panther – Deron Williams
Not hideous or over the top this black panther tattoo just seems cheesy. It would be cute on a girl as a tramp stamp or on an 80’s glam rocker. On Deron it just looks wrong.
Vanessa - Kobe Bryant
I love Kobe. He is one of my favorite players but yes he f**cked up. Besides buying his wife the trillion-dollar ring he got this tattoo. A queen’s crown with a butterfly her name and some horrid representation of her hair. He could have bought her more jewelry or a car instead. No need to defile his body with such repulsive art.
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