My Fantasy Husbands

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day who is smack in the middle of an “Age of Anxiety “ meltdown. For those of you who aren’t familiar with this condition, I will explain further. Once women get to a certain age (usually late 20’s early 30’s) they start to think about finding the perfect man to marry and pop out a couple of kids with. Luckily, this condition has never infected me.

Anyway she was complaining about the lack of available decent men out there and asked me what my perfect man would look like. I laughed at first knowing fully that no one is perfect. I then decided that I could pick and choose traits from my plethora of fantasy husbands to appease her.

James Franco – He is highly intelligent and talent plus he looks like a Greek God.

Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard) – Since this is purely fantasy it doesn’t matter that Eric is a character and not a real person. He’s tall and a Viking. He is also sexy, quick, strong and a vampire (so he will look that good forever). If the book and series are any indication, he is an amazing lover. It doesn’t matter to me if he’s got amnesia or if all of his memories are in tact.

Nathan Fillion – He is my Geek husband. There will always be a place in my heart for Captain Mal Reynolds. He is also hysterical, witty, and such a kind hearted prankster.

Brandon Flowers – He is my rock husband. He has a beautiful voice, talented lyrical ability, an interesting fashion sense, and he’s not hard on the eyes. I could however do without his religious beliefs.

There you have it, my perfect man would be a highly intelligent, talented, tall vampire with a beautiful singing voice, features of a Greek or Norse God and a bit of a geeky side. Wouldn’t that be hysterical criteria for my Match.com profile if I had one?

Twilight Versus True Blood

Vampires as mythological creatures have fascinated people for centuries. As the years pass, the depictions and opinions change with the times but the passion never dies. Vampire stories tend to sync up with the culture of the times in which they are written.

A new stage in Vampire Culture has risen from the dark ashes of Dracula's world. Stephenie Meyer and Charlaine Harris have both managed to infect the masses with a new-found vampire fever. Although their message is completely opposite, the characters of these two female authors do share similar traits.

The Twilight Saga and the True Blood series have taken pop culture by storm. There are many attractive traits about the supernatural that help feed our curiosity and fascination. While investigating why Twilight and True Blood are appropriate for today's culture, I created a brief cheat sheet to help highlight the differences and similarities between these two supernatural universes.
Please click on picture for a closer view. Keep clicking to enlarge photo.

Ode to Jacob Black and Sam Merlotte

I really feel for these two hotties. They are always the confidant and never get what they truly want. It sucks to be considered a good “friend” and not a lover. It doesn’t help that both of their desired women have a huge vampire fetish.

Dear Jacob,

You are hot in all ways. Your body temperature is toasty and you have magnificent abs. You also make an adorable pet wolf. You are part human and alive. You age slowly. You are fully capable of finding a woman who appreciates you (not a little girl). Give up your Bella obsession. She likes the cold, hard, pale type that enjoys overacting and reading people’s thoughts.

Dear Sam Merlotte,

You had your chance but you blew it. You are sexy, funny, sweet and magical. You also make a cute pet who doesn't even need walking. Sookie has a thing for Vamps and one sexy Werewolf. You will never be able to make that transition from trusted friend to lover. Instead of sleeping with her best friend, Tara find yourself a trustworthy shifter or Were.

The NBA's Terrible Tattoos

Since I am utterly disappointed in the contenders for this year’s NBA Finals, I decided to write one last fun blog discussing the league. I have noticed recently that NBA players keep getting more and more hideous and ridiculous tattoos. I thought it would be fun to put them on visual display and comment on just how ludicrous they are.

Chest and Back:

Praying with a Gun - Stephen Jackson

His tattoo of two hands praying with a gun doesn’t surprise me. Although it’s not a shocker is still makes my worst idea to get permanently inked onto your body list.

Crazy Chest Tree – Monta Ellis

Monta Ellis, WTF was going through your mind when you made this unintelligent decision? I understand that you are a family man and love your kid. That is fantastic but scarring your body in this way is just foolish. You are also kind of repetitive. You have a giant tree on your body with a picture of your son and the words “Family First” eternally inked on your chest. Why do you also need Ellis family on your arm? Are you afraid people won’t realize which family you are referring to?

Angel Wings – Paul Pierce

Really? The angel wings and heart shaped tattoo makes Deron William’s panther look downright manly. This is a chick tattoo. Can you imagine the tattoo artist’s face when he picked this feminine design out? Thank god he wears a shirt on the court otherwise all the other players would just laugh him out of the arena.

Super Cool Beas - Michael Beasley

I am sure Beas is his nickname but someone should tell him, if you have to tattoo that you are super cool on your back, it means you aren’t super cool. Plus he needs to hop in a time machine and return those angel wings to the late 80’s early 90’s where they belong.

Chosen 1 - LeBron James

The ego on King James is unprecedented and the fact that he has chosen 1 tattooed across his back is no surprise. He is arrogant, obnoxious, and immature. His back tat reflects exactly who he is.

Neck Tats:

Free Bird – Chris Anderson A.K.A Birdman

Horrible strangulation of color and distaste. Even Lynyrd Skynyrd would cringe if they saw this one!

Virginia Slim - Allen Iverson

Allen used to be one of my favorite players but I will be the first to admit he has a number of stupid tattoos. The most absurd is his prison neck tattoo that has the words “Virginia Slim” surrounded by cobwebs. It just makes him look like a thug out for some yard time.

Swish – J.R. Smith

We all get it J.R.; you like to make the ball go swish. No need to tattoo that piece of info on your neck. Don’t even get me started on the Young Money tat underneath it. This just makes you look like a fool.

Believe – Matt Barnes

I love Matt Barnes. He is kind of a punk so a neck tattoo suits his persona. His choice is just ridiculous, even if he got it when my beloved Warriors were actually good.

Shoulder Tats:

The Panther – Deron Williams

Not hideous or over the top this black panther tattoo just seems cheesy. It would be cute on a girl as a tramp stamp or on an 80’s glam rocker. On Deron it just looks wrong.

Vanessa - Kobe Bryant

I love Kobe. He is one of my favorite players but yes he f**cked up. Besides buying his wife the trillion-dollar ring he got this tattoo. A queen’s crown with a butterfly her name and some horrid representation of her hair. He could have bought her more jewelry or a car instead. No need to defile his body with such repulsive art.

NBA Finals: My Thoughts on Game 1 and 2

As I have already stated this year’s finals is quite different from the last few years. I’m not sure where my loyalty lies because I have negative feelings for both teams. This year, there is no clear hero or villain. The one thing that remains is that I love the game of basketball. So of course I have to watch. Here are my thoughts on the first two games.

Game 1 - Heat 92 Mavericks 84

Overall, I was unimpressed by the offense in this game. Despite the fact that the Heat won by 8 points the first two quarters looked ugly on both sides. I think both teams were shooting under 40%. Both teams had a long rest between series. In the fourth quarter, the Heat stepped up their defense and began making shots. The Heat scored 27 pts and shot about 48%. In the final 10 minutes of the quarter, the Mavericks only scored 10 pts and shot about 40% (their lowest of the playoffs). At the end of this game all of the commentators and Miami fans were guilty of hubris. This was just game one. Dallas fans worried about Dirk’s hurt finger.

Game 2 - Mavericks 95 Heat 93

Game 2 was a completely different story. It was a competitive game for the first quarter and actually exciting to watch. Both teams had stepped up in the offense and defensive departments. At half time the score was tied 51-51. The Heat owned the 3rd quarter. They were shooting 53% with LeBron making 8/11 and Wade making 11/15 shots. Dallas was turning over the ball left and right. Even with the Heat scoring numerous times in the 3^rd, Dallas was only down by 4, when headed to the 4^th quarter.

The second half of the 4^th was when the momentum of the game shifted drastically. The Mavericks went on a 17-2 run. Everything worked for Dallas and the Heat seemed like they were asleep at the wheel. Every shot Miami put up was off the mark. They couldn’t make an offensive play to save their lives. The two points they scored were actually foul shots. Dallas ended up winning the game in a thrilling come back victory. I found myself actually rooting for them and forgetting my dislike for the team because of this riveting win. Just as I kind of pledged my allegiance to Dallas, the camera shot to Mark Cuban jumping up and down. I then quickly remembered why I don’t like the Mavericks.

Side note: The Heat and Mavericks series just got interesting. Miami heads back to Dallas for three straight games, so I can’t wait to see what happens in game 3.

Unrelated note: Steve Nash was at the game to support Dallas and he looks really hot now. I guess divorce agrees with him.

2006 Revisited

As most of you already know, I am a basketball fanatic. This made the Eastern and Western Conference Semi-finals especially hard to watch. I wanted to see Chicago and my MVP D. Rose shine. I wanted to see the smug grins wiped off the faces of Miami’s Big Three. Most of all, I wanted to see “the Chosen One” fall. That obviously didn’t happen.

I knew that the young Thunder had no chance against the veteran Mavericks. I knew that once Dallas swept the Lakers, (it still makes me a little nauseous when I think about it) they would be the team from the West in the Finals. I hoped that Oklahoma could win at least 2 games in the series. That also obviously didn’t happen.

Sadly, both underdog teams lost 4-1. I also think that both Chicago and Oklahoma are 1 player or 1-2 years away from having their shot in the Finals.

Where does that leave us?

It’s a rematch of the 2006 Finals where Miami beat Dallas. I remember at the time, I was rooting for Miami because that was the Wade/Shaq combination. I also hated Dallas and Dirk, which hasn’t changed in the last few years. I recall Miami was down 0-2 and came back to win it all. I was in Cancun on vacation and met a bunch of rowdy guys from Houston. We bonded over Mexican beer and our mutual hatred for Mark Cuban and all things Dallas (except maybe J.R. Ewing).

Things are completely different now. How can I in good conscience root for Miami? If I do its like proving LeBron, Wade, and Bosh right. Their collective egos would explode like a volcano. They are like the Yankees of the NBA, although as a New Yorker, I love the Yankees.

On the other hand, I still detest Dallas. I hate Cuban and Dirk. I have love for Jason Kidd, especially when he was in his prime with the Nets. I also respect Jason Terry because he preformed well for me this fantasy season.

It’s like picking the lesser of two evils. I’m not even sure if I’ll watch the entire series. For a basketball freak that is practically insane.

Wade and Shaq 2006 Finals

I will be rooting for: not sure jury is still out!

Who will win: Dallas has a giant axe to grind and the Triple Threat have something to prove. I pick Dallas in 6.

My Thoughts on NBA Finals Round 2

Like the first round of the playoffs, the second round was full of drama and shocking upsets. Some of the NBA elite teams were brutally eliminated, young stars played up to their full potential, and two teams engaged in a battle royal that brought us our first 7 game series of the post season. I personally found this round hard to watch and even more challenging to write about. Luckily, I’m a professional and just because my team was annihilated doesn’t mean that I will ignore my love for the game (and analyzing it). Here are some my thoughts.

The West

Dallas vs. LA (4-0)

I knew a three-peat was not in the cards this year but the last thing I expected was a sweep. This is hard for me to say aloud but I think the dynasty is dead. Phil is gone and what way to go out. The Lakers lost the first two games at home and were completely humiliated in that last game. The once glorious two-time champs were shamefully swept by the Dallas Mavericks.

Luckily, I chose food shopping with my mother (Mother’s Day) over watching that last game. Watching SportsCenter was a nightmare that night. Much to my dismay, we had the wrong Gasol. Pau’s game was atrocious. I was happy to see Bynum finally get aggressive in many of the games but once he let loose he couldn’t be contained. If you need any more proof just ask J.J Barea. Odom didn’t seem to show up maybe because he was busy shooting his reality show with his annoying wife.

What else can I say except Dallas out played the Lakers. Dirk knows how to take over a game and lead his team to a possible championship. I have my fingers crossed that his Hasselhoff loving ass falls short. I can’t believe I am saying this but if it comes down to a Dallas/Miami series; I have to root for Miami. It would be quite poetic if Dallas gets back to the Finals only to loose to Miami again just like in 2006.

Oklahoma vs. Memphis (4-3)

This series has been a battle of shooters, scorers, and pure will. In fact it’s not only the first 7-game series of the finals but probably the most interesting to watch. The Grizzlies were an 8 seed team, who people thought would be crushed by San Antonio in the first round. Oklahoma is a young team with talented players that can score when it counts. I had never seen Memphis play in a regular season game but Zach Randolph was on my fantasy team and he performed miracles for me every night. I wasn’t surprised to see him continue his reign throughout the post season. 

Every game between these two teams (except the last one) was a battle. Durant and Westbrook are sleek and speedy shooters and Randolph and Gasol are a combination of brute force and talent. As most people expected Oklahoma won the battle in the end. They finally figured out how to contain Randolph, when it really mattered. I found myself a bit disappointed in the end. The last game wasn’t really that competitive and I was rooting for the underdogs. I know that the Thunder have a better chance against the Mavericks, so for that I am grateful. Despite that last game, I have a newfound respect for the Grizzlies and I hope that I am not the only one.

The East

Miami vs. Boston (4-1)

This series surprised me. In the regular season Boston had no problem beating Miami. I truly expected this match up to be more competitive. The fact that Celtics only won 1 game at home is almost unbelievable. I must admit that I was a little giddy that they preformed so poorly. I was rooting for them only because of my loathing for the Heat. After the way they humiliated the Knicks, it seemed like justice that they almost got swept. The Celtics might have been over confident and had too much rest. They also probably regretted that Perkins trade.

The bottom line although I cringe to acknowledge it is Miami has figured out a way to play balanced basketball together. The big three are making quite the unbeatable team. Wouldn’t it be horrifying if they proved everyone wrong? My last hope is Chicago but if it comes down to a choice between Miami and Dallas in the finals, I might have to swallow my pride and root for Miami. My hatred for Dirk and Mark Cuban runs deeper than my disgust for LeBron. Let’s hope it doesn’t come down to that difficult choice. I’m putting all my faith in my #1 fantasy player and current MVP, Derrick Rose.

Chicago vs. Atlanta (4-2)

The Hawks played well and deserve respect especially because they managed to beat the Bulls at home in game 1. Joe Johnson scored 34 pts during that game and the Bulls had a scary moment where D. Rose starting limping at the end of the game. Thankfully, he recovered quickly and played his heart out the rest of the series. D. Rose proved just how healthy he was feeling in game 3 with a career high of 44 pts. The Bulls shine as a great defensive team as well as an amazing bench team.  As long as Deng, Boozer, and Noah need to keep up their competitive roles and Gibson, Asik, and Brewer keep playing hard, the Bulls have a shot at beating the Heat.  Hopefully their strong bench will be the key to their success in the Eastern Conference Finals.

Predictions:

Dallas will win the Western Conference Finals 4-2 (Hoping the Thunder will win at least 2 games at home)

The Eastern Conference Finals could go either way. It will be a tough defensive battle. It could go even go 7 games. I am picking the Bulls (wishful thinking) but I know it my heart it’s could be the Heat.

Deep thoughts on the 1st Round of the NBA Playoffs

Surprisingly, this year’s first round of the playoffs have become Must See TV. Most of the series match ups have been both unpredictable and exciting. I almost feel that kind of March Madness thrill, where the underdog has a real shot and anything can happen. Let’s take a closer look at some highlights and brutal truths.

Lakers vs. Hornets (Final 4-2)

This series threw me for a loop. As a Lakers fan, I was really worried after the first few games. I want to take a moment to marvel at Chris Paul and his obviously extraordinary talent. Although he struggled throughout the regular season (averaging his lowest 16pts and 10 assists a game) he made sure that the playoffs meant a fresh start. Despite his size and stitches over his right eye, Chris Paul came to play. In the two wins he averaged 30pts and 15 assists a game. CP3 is and will remain a Triple Threat. Bravo. I am ecstatic that Bynum, Gasol, Odom, and Artest decided to help Kobe out and win the series. I know in my heart that a Three-peat is probably not in the cards for this year.

Grizzlies vs. Spurs (Final 3-2)

This was by far the most shocking series in this round. A Cinderella story if Cinderella was shaped like 2 bulky brute big men (Marc Gasol and Zach Randolph combined weight is over 500 pounds). This match up proves that brute force can beat experience and a stellar record. The Grizzlies held the number one seed in the West to a shooting percentage of under 42%. Crazy. Marc Gasol (Pau’s younger/bigger brother) owned the paint. Zach Randolph (one of my fantasy players) preformed magic on the court. Unfortunately, for the Spurs, not even Manu Ginobili and his growing bald spot, could save them from a first round elimination. Congrats to the Grizzlies for being just the second 8 seed team, to knock out a number 1 seed team, since the league expanded the first round to a 7 game series. We all know that the other team to do it was my beloved inconsistent Warriors.

Thunder vs. Nuggets (Final 4-1)

I expected this match up to be better. I realize the combination of Durant, Ibaka, and Westbrook is a deadly one. This young team is explosive to watch. I think they will probably make it all the way to the Finals this year. With all that said, since the trade of Carmelo Anthony to the Knicks in the regular season the Nuggets played fantastic. I have love for the Nuggets because they have Raymond Felton and a few other choice Knick players. I was hoping that they would win more than one game but at least they didn’t get swept like the Knicks did.

Bulls vs. Pacers (Final 4-1)

Unfortunately, this series falls into the predictable pack. D. Rose, future MVP and my personal hero from my fantasy team is just a force to be reckoned with. In game 1 he had 39 pts and in game 2 he had 36. There was a scary moment in Game 4, where he tweaked his ankle but luckily his teammates Boozer and Noah stepped up. He is amazing to watch. I just can’t wait to see the level he will be playing at in the next few years. Here is a quote from Frank Vogel (the Pacers coach) that I feel accurately describes his talent. “He’s got Allen Iverson’s speed, Jason Kidd’s vision, Chauncey Billup’s shooting, and Michael Jordon’s athleticism. How do you guard that?” I couldn’t have said it better myself.

Mavericks vs. Blazers (Final 4-2)

This series became competitive once Portland played at home and I was hoping for Portland to put up more of a fight. Dirk as usual is a clutch player. He scores when he needs to. It’s hard for me to truly appreciate his talent because I hate Dallas and in particular his Hasselhoff loving ass. I am happy that in Game 4 Brandon Roy landed 24 pts in 24 minutes. I am also looking forward to the Lakers kicking some Texan booty in the second round. Fingers crossed.

Celtics vs. Knicks (Final 4-0)

For so many reason this was the most painful series to watch. It was also the only sweep. I feel nauseous just thinking about it right now. The first two games were competitive, heartbreaking, and close. It was just downhill from there. It doesn’t matter if you blame it on Billups’s health or that the big 3 haven’t really had enough time to gel. You could even say it’s because Rondo is a beast. Any way you look at it, it’s just the epic failure of the NY Knicks once again. They should have won at least one game at MSG. As a native New Yorker and a long time Knick fan, we must move on from this all too familiar sore subject.

Hawks vs. Magic (Final 4-2)

This series came as another unpredictable shock. I fully expected the Magic to advance to the second round. To be completely honest, I am an avid NBA fan and besides Al Horford, I have no clue who even plays for the Atlanta Hawks. I didn’t even watch all of the games in this series. What I did see was Superman fighting alone (averaging about 33 pts a game). The problem was that the rest of the team didn’t seem to show up. I must say, I am impressed with the Hawks and looking forward to watching them more closely in round 2.

Heat vs. Sixers (Final 4-1)

It wasn’t a surprise to see the Heat roll over the Sixers. I was happy that the Sixers won at least one game. I was hoping for two. The Sixers have great potential and a very young team. I was happy to see both Jrue Holiday and Thaddeus Young (2 more fantasy players) fighting to stay alive. Despite their best efforts, everyone knew they were no match for the Heat. Miami has come a long way from their 9-8 start. They seem to compliment each other and have found a balance. Since Miami is my least favorite team in the entire NBA, all I can say is…Go Celtics! If you truly knew me you would realize just how hard that was to say and that yes hell has frozen over.

Close, But No Cigar

As the NBA playoffs approach, I lament the passing of yet another year of Fantasy Basketball. This year I came so close to winning, that I must admit how much I detest the sting of second place. I would rather come in towards the bottom of the pack then a mere 2.5 points behind the league leader.

Even though my pride is wounded and the competitor in me wants a recount, I am still proud of my standing in the end. Out of the 12 teams, I was the only female manager. I had to prove myself multiple times during the season. At least once a week, I would get a trade request from another manager that was ridiculous. I’m not sure if they thought I was stupid or were just trying to test my skills but most of the trades were downright insulting. Yes, I am a girl but I know my basketball stats. I am well aware of each player’s worth. You cannot have Kevin Love or D. Rose.

This season I was in it to win. Although I played in a free public league and there was no money on the table, I had my eye on the prize. I strategically sat out some players so I wouldn’t max out any positions before their time. The winner of my league played hard-core all the way through and ended up maxing out 4 positions in the last few weeks. I would have landed on top, had I not spaced out during March Madness and forgotten to play key players when it mattered most.

The end of this season was bittersweet. Now that I have almost tasted victory, I am looking forward to kicking some fantasy basketball ass next season! I just pray that I end up with a team as awesome as the one I had this year. Thanks boys!

My Awesome Team

My Return to WonderCon

Photo by: Jonathan Shensa

It was great to be back at WonderCon this year. Having unfortunately missed last year’s event, I was eager to reconnect with my geeky roots.

As usual there were some comforting aspects to being thrown back into supreme Geekdom. Here are some fun facts about WonderCon for those not so familiar with the conference.

Sci-fi / Fanboys are the most fanatical fun breed of fans in the “Verse”.

You get lots of free comics and other cool geeky swag.

They have panels that give you a sneak peak at upcoming Sci-Fi TV shows, movies, and comics.

Fans enjoy dressing up so it feels like Halloween on a pile of steroids.

There is a ton of cool merchandise.

Side note: For some reason people assume all comic book fans are very large men, so they have all this cool merchandise but the sizes are way too big.

On the bottom floor they have an autograph area where you can see your old favorites and take photos with them for a price. This juxtaposition is always entertaining because WonderCon seems to have Sci-Fi gods at the top of their game mixed in with Old School favorites charging $25 a pop to make ends meet. 

This year’s biggest autograph stars were:

Lou Ferrigno - The Hulk on the classic TV show

Honky Tonk – old wrestler

Herbert Jefferson Jr. – The original Lt. Boomer in the classic BSG (Battlestar Galactica)

Peter Mayhew – Chewbacca (what a wookie)

Cindy Morgan – The original Tron girl

The highlight of my day was getting to sit in on the Green Lantern panel. I confess that although I do speak superhero and I am well versed in Sci-Fi Geekdom, I am not familiar with the story of the Green Lantern nor do I know his sacred oath. The panel was not only entertaining but educational as well. I even got to hear the crowd and the actors recite the sacred oath.

I was pleasantly surprised by the likeability of Ryan Reynolds. I also felt that he had great chemistry with Blake Lively. Speaking of Blake, I knew she was good-looking but I had no clue she was drop-dead gorgeous in person. Sitting about 5 feet from her, I was taken back with how truly stunning she looked. We were lucky enough to have a sneak peak at the movie and it looks like a blast.

Fun fact: Ryan’s Green Lantern suit is made of pure CGI energy so his body looks completely smoking during the whole movie. This is a fact that gave the ladies (yes there were other ladies at WonderCon) something to scream about.

Photo by:  Jonathan Shensa

My Boston Perks

I have decided to embark on a new adventure this summer. I am moving back east to Boston. Born and bred in New York this is a welcomed challenge on many levels. I have been living in California for over a decade and news of my drastic move has been met with a surprising flood of negativity. I keep hearing the same whiny question. People spend their whole lives dreaming of living in California. Why would you ever leave and move back to the East Coast? They keep reminding me of the harsh weather extremes and the fact that I will be abandoning both friends and family. At first I just smiled sweetly and tried to rationally explain my decision. Now I am starting to get pissed off.

Fact: I love California and will be back. I would never desert my immediate family, close friends, and adorable cat, Buffy.

Fact: I have lived here over a decade.

Fact: I need a new adventure. I want to live somewhere I have never lived before.

I have decided to respond to the naysayers with some positive reasons why I am making the move.

Some of my Boston Perks:

4 seasons

A real summer (where you can actually wear a mini skirt at night and sit on your stoop drinking some beer)

The Boston Commons in the Fall and Spring

The Cape

Family, Friends, and more…

Fenway Park

NYC is only a short train ride away (see more of my old friends)

New opportunities, people, and places to explore

Crab cakes at Legal

The North End

The Rocky Horror Picture Show in Cambridge (where I got my cherry popped on stage)

Living in an old historic city

Being surrounded by so many educated and young people

Thank you naysayers for making me even more determined and excited to start this new chapter of my life.

My Favorite Oscar Moments

I am a sucker for the awards season and even though there were few real shockers this year, I still remained glued to my TV for three plus hours. I lost my annual Oscar pool to my brother this year but I am still proud of my 15/24 score. Here are my personal favorites from last night’s show.

Kirk Douglas copping a feel of Melissa Leo’s boob as she left the stage with her Best Supporting Actress award. I also dig the fact that she was the only one who dropped the F-Bomb in her acceptance speech.

Trent Reznor gets an Oscar for Best Original Score prompting female fans to really want to Frak him like an animal.

Natalie Portman shows the world that you can look hot and really pregnant at the same time.

Tom Hooper beats out David Fincher for Best Director. This was one of the few surprises of the night that also screwed up my Oscar pool results.

I know there are many haters but I thought my fantasy husband, James Franco and Anne Hathaway did a great job hosting.

Side note: I was really happy that James Franco finally got recognized for his work in 127 Hours. Thank you Independent Spirit Awards (Best Male Lead). Any other year he'd probably won the Oscar.

Until next year….

My Deep Thoughts on All-Star Weekend

As you all know by now, I am an NBA fanatic. To me, All-Star weekend feels a lot like an early Christmas present combined with some awesome socks from Hanukkah Harry. Because I love my 15 followers so much, I am going to give you my impressions (likes as well as dislikes) broken down by events.

Friday Night
2011 NBA All-Star Celebrity Game

Things I learned from watching the game:

White men can jump thanks to Michael Rapaport.

Common’s got game.

Scotty Pippen still has it.

Justin Bieber is succeeding in his evil plan of world domination. Not only was he in the game but he also was named MVP. Really?

2011 Rookie Challenge

Highlights:

DeJuan Blair proved that ACL’s are overrated.

Cousins kicked some serious ass.

Adidas has a hideous line of sneakers coming soon to a store near you.

John Wall deserved to be the #1 pick and MVP (unlike Bieber) with 12 points and 22 assists.

John Wall’s Bounce Pass Alley-Oop to Blake Griffin was reason enough to watch the game.

The Rookie Challenge used to be played more like an actual game. This year it was almost as bad as the veterans. The game was all offense with high scoring and no defense but still extremely fun to watch.

Saturday Night

Shooting Stars

Defending champs Texas seemed like the favorite but Atlanta came from behind in the second round to knock them out of the winner’s circle.

A slightly fatter Kenny Smith still has game. He made the half-court shot on his first try. I am sure Charles will never hear the end of it.

Skills Challenge

My pick to win this was one of my favorite fantasy players, D. Rose.

I was not only surprised but also ecstatic when my hometown hero Stephen Curry took the prize. Way to represent buddy 28.2 seconds. Bravo!

3-Point Contest

I was looking forward to this event because it was pitting two Celtics against one another. I was curious to see who would take home the trophy, returning champ Paul Pierce or the 3-Point Guru, Ray Allen (who was my personal pick).

I felt bad for Durant when he scored only 6 pts in the first round. I agree with my man Charles, he is a scorer not a shooter.

In the end one of the only Heat players I don’t detest stole the show. James Jones beat out both Celtics for the win. Awesome.

Dunk Contest

Blake Griffin is the shit and he deserves respect but can’t we just remove ourselves from all this razzle-dazzle. I can’t wait to see him in a few years. He has actually made the Clippers a watchable team again. Do we really need cars, choirs, stuffed animals, and multiple hoops?

My favorite Blake dunk of the night was the spinning one. He has an amazing combination of power and grace, not to mention upper body strength.

Why didn’t Serge Ibaka get a 50 for his dunk where he took off from behind the free-throw line?

You be the judge.

Sunday Night

The All-Star Game

My Highlights of the actual game:

When Doc Rivers put in his second rotation that consisted of four Boston Celtics and a cringing Dwight Howard the crowd in the Staples Center erupted with boos.

Then Ray Allen air balls a three and hears it from the crowd.

Watching in suspense as Ginobili’s bald spot grew larger and larger.

Seeing Kobe shine with 37 points and a much deserved MVP award.

All kidding aside in the fourth quarter the game became competitive and actual defense was played (probably due to LeBron’s pep talk).

In the end the West proved that they were best.

West – 148 (51% shooting)

East – 143 (47% shooting)

The Scene of my Embarrassment (Part II The Franco Experience)

In case you missed my last post, I was attempting to meet and politely stalk James Franco at the Santa Barbara International Film Festival.

Part I of the Mission:  The Dry Run

We went to the Arlington the night before to scope out the scene. Annette Bening was getting an award for her brilliant performance in The Kids Are All Right. We watched her arrive with her dashing husband, Warren Beatty. The fans were stationed in a designated area across from the theatre. It was shaped kinda like a giant horseshoe. Inside the gates the photographers and videographers anxiously awaited the red carpet walk. I watched Annette greet her fans while my brother snapped a few photos. We were ready to hit the bar. We got all the information we were looking for. Hello, James Joyce bar how I have missed you.

Part II: The Stalking

We arrived outside the Arlington at about 6:00pm. The event (which we had tickets for) was supposed to start at 8:00pm. James was scheduled to arrive at 7:00pm. We were concerned that if we spent too much time waiting across the street, we would not get the prime seats we wanted for the award ceremony.

My brother and I scored a first-rate spot. We were in the front row behind the gate at exactly where the limo arrived the night before for the drop off. Now all we had to do was wait. At this point, there were only about 40 fans hanging around outside. We waited some more.

The crowd began to grow and grow. I looked around at the sea of people. Mostly women of all ages. We found out later that there were over 500 people waiting in the street. These fans had come prepared: mountains of posters, photos, and Pineapple Express DVD’s. I gripped my copy of Palo Alto tightly, hoping James would get the chance to sign it later. You couldn’t even see the end of the street anymore. It got later and later. Still we waited. Children waited on their parent’s shoulders. A group of really young girls held out a sign that read, “We are Legal.”

There were two false alarms where security cleared out an area for the car to enter and a car never came. It was now 8:15. The line to get into the event had vanished. We didn’t know if we should just give up and get seats or wait it out to catch a glimpse of him before he hit the carpet. Just when all hope seemed lost a black SUV pulls up through the gate. We see that James is in the passenger seat.

The crowd screams as he gets out of the car. He passes right by us. We all think he’s just going to go straight to the Red Carpet where tons of frustrated photographers are waiting. He points towards the beginning of the horseshoe shaped line and makes his way over to the barely legal girls. Everyone simultaneously figures out that he plans to walk the entire outside of the fan area. More screaming and squealing. I realize that I am the loudest. Frantically snapping pictures and video like a mad woman. Waving my book in the air and my black sharpie. I feel like a 13-year-old girl at a New Kids on the Block concert circa 1986.

He’s five feet from me I shriek at him to sign my book. He smiles and nods. I remain silent for the next 30 seconds. James is right in front of me. He signs my book and we exchange words. I regain my composure and take a few more extreme close-up pictures. We fight our way out of line and run into the theatre. The moment we break free from the crowd our spot is swallowed by 50 other crazy fans. We find some decent (not prime) seats and wait. It feels good to be sitting and away from the madness.

A little too close to James Franco

SBIFF 2011 James Franco

James Franco signing a fan