California is burning!

It’s 3 am and there’s a faint knocking on my door. I hear it through a sleepy haze. I pull myself out of bed, nearly trip on my two kittens and make my way to my apartment door. When I get there, I hear Peggy my neighbor saying, “Rachel, please wake up you need to get your kittens and get out of here. This place is burning!” As I open the door my senses are overwhelmed. There’s heavy smoke in the air, I hear sirens and what sounds like an explosion. I see Peggy, have a short conversation with her and shut the door. I am overwhelmed, sleep deprived, and a little frozen by fear. I grab my phone and call my family, waking them up. I pack a bunch of useless things in a bag, grab my 5-month-old kittens, and run to my car. The smoke is heavy and it almost looks like fog. I turn on my car and go. As I make my way to the highway, I am in a daze. There's a steady flow of traffic for 3:30 am in the morning. As I drive away from Santa Rosa and the Tubbs fire, I see a car on the side of the highway on fire. It feels like Armageddon.

I was lucky. Most folks I know were lucky. So many others were not. Businesses and neighborhoods less than a mile from me were burned to the ground. Over a year later, that night and that awful October week still haunts me.

Now it’s happening again. My beautiful love, California, is burning. My heart breaks for all those in the mist of this madness now. We pray for containment and fast. The Camp Fire is said to be the size of Atlanta. It's already the deadliest and most destructive in state history. Forty-eight people are dead and over 6,500 homes have burned to the ground and this beast is not contained. Fire is unpredictable and hops kind of like tornados. The Woolsey Fire in Los Angeles and Ventura counties and the Hill Fire in Ventura County rage on. 

When the fires hit last year, I was at a low point in my life. I had just left my job and was starting to fall back into depression. I am so grateful that I had a place to go and people to look after me, while I waited to hear about my home. I hope that those in need will find the same care I did. California may be burning but her spirit is strong and her people kind.

If you’re looking to help and donate please go here.

A store .5 miles from my Santa Rosa apartment.

We’re impressed by your background…BUT

Breaking into a different industry is hard at any age and stage in your career, even when you have those transferable skills. What’s hard to swallow is rejection but even worse is inauthentic rejection. I spent the last six years of my life in the market research and consumer insights world. I know consumers better than I know myself. I know them in all shapes and sizes and I understand and empathize with them. After all, consumers are just people like you and me and they are human. If advertising and marketing executives understood human nature, they would be able to sell those humans a ton of more shit they don’t need.

After years in this industry all I want to do now is use my knowledge about human nature to do good things. Things like making sure all employees are set up for success in their jobs and find happiness and balance at work. I want to create an environment where humans enjoy coming to work and are productive and efficient. I’m trying to break into the HR world and remind folks that HR actually stands for HUMAN resources. I’m also not looking at the world through rose-colored glasses. I know HR is not all puppy dogs and ice cream. It’s a challenging world where you need to balance your empathy with cold hard facts and lots of data.

I’ve been looking for work for a couple of months now and the rejections that sting the most come from the very department I hope to be part of. If you’re applying for a job, chances are many others are vying for that same job. It’s just common sense. The best companies tell you in an auto response after you apply that very thing. They thank you and tell you lots of qualified applicants are applying and state that if your background fits their needs, you’ll hear from their HR department. That is the right and human way to handle the situation. It’s exactly how I would handle things if some smart company hired me. The wrong way to do things is to send someone an automated email (sometimes weeks later) that says, “Thanks for your interest in whatever role you applied for at whatever company. Although your background is impressive, we have decided to move forward with a few other candidates who are a better fit for the role. We wish you the best in your job search and keep in touch!” Don’t say your impressed by my resume and background. If that were true,  I would have made it to round 2. Don’t wish me luck in my search. This is not Vegas, although lately it feels like the house always wins. Don’t encourage me to apply to other jobs with you, so you can deny me more than once. Don’t use an explanation point after you told me I was not good enough to move onto the next round of interviews.

If I were on the recruitment team at that company I would treat all applicants in the most human way possible. I’m not gonna name names but the most ironic unnecessary rejection I got was from a company who claims to help folks find work. That is their product. 

Please follow me on my journey to find the right “fit” for me. I promise to always be authentic and say what I mean.

Too bad life is not like a Hallmark movie (well sometimes)

It’s funny when you look back on your life and really think about what you expected your life to be in your thirties. A different picture comes to mind –one with children, husband, career, pet, and a picket fence. Somehow when you wake up you discover that the pretty picture you painted for yourself in those formative years may not be the happily ever after you thought or even wanted. I have a little confession to make. Although a lover of good films and what I consider to be good music and food I have a secret guilty pleasure…it’s Hallmark movies. 

There’s always a second chance, sometimes there’s death and cancer too but mostly they’re about finding that love (whether it’s a man or a child or a career) when you thought all hope was lost. As a single woman in her late thirties (gulp) hope, happiness, and contentment come in all different shapes and sizes. I’m not an unhappy person. I have family, friends, and a cat that I truly love. I go out on the town and consume great food and music. I have a job that I love most of the time. My life is far from empty but the idea that another kind of happily ever after is out there waiting for me –no matter how trivial, fills me with a sense of wonder and relief. So I find myself looking towards these films with B actors (or former A ones) as my second chance - A second chance at love, life, and my own storybook ending. 

I know most folks would laugh at the formulaic, overly sentimental story-lines and wonder what kind of person eats this stuff up. I guess that kind of person is me. A former cynic who’s eagerly awaiting what that hope feels like again –for a fresh start. I recently moved back to a town I used to live. I’m trying to carve out a new path in a familiar place. I’m desperately trying to build community in an old place but I want to make that place new. How do you build a brand new life where so many old memories haunt you? With hope I guess. Hope for a future unknown but not over-not forgotten. Dare I say that this is the beginning of a new chapter and if I can just get out of my own way maybe things will change for the better? Holy crap! That sounds like hope.

Stay Golden, Warriors!

The Golden State Warriors have always had heart and now they ALSO have some real talent. Last night, I was lucky enough to catch a home game. I’ve been living in Boston for the past few years and it has been way too long since I’ve been home to see them in action. My dad is a huge fan and has told me repeatedly how much they have grown and improved this season. I have not witnessed this evolution first hand because I am never able to stay up that late (EST) and watch a full game.

Warriors vs. Toronto – Last night’s game (December 3, 2013)

The first half of the game was almost an embarrassment and made me remember what it’s like to root for a team that isn’t used to winning. The Raptors scored 65 points in the first half and it seemed as though anything they "threw up" landed in the basket. The Warriors crowd was in shock – mostly quiet but also angry. The refs seemed to be in Toronto’s pocket and the drunken masses took most of their frustration out on the bad judgment of the refs. Toronto led 75-48 with 9:20 left in the third quarter and took an 18-point lead into the fourth. It seemed like all hope was lost. My dad was regretting buying the “good seats” and my mom considered leaving early to beat the Oakland traffic.

Although I had seen no real proof that the Warriors were a changed team - I did not give up hope. This team even a few years back (with a losing record) always had heart and played like champions at home. Luckily, I was right and the Warriors showed Toronto how they are still one of the BIGGEST comeback teams in the NBA. Stephen Curry with help from Klay Thompson (with six three-pointers), Harrison Barnes, and David Lee brought their team back from the trenches. Curry had three three-pointers and ten assists that contributed to his personal comeback ending the game with 27 points – while he had only four points in the entire first half. The crowd exploded and was on their feet when the Warriors made their run with about 8 minutes to go in the fourth quarter. The fans jumped up and down and celebrated with each other. The final score was 112 to 103.

Thank you, Warriors for showing me your blood, sweat, and tears and making me one happy homesick fan. Stay Golden!

Exodus

365 days ago, I left my safe and warm house full of support and love for the unknown. As I watched my folks in my rearview and choked back a few tears, I was feeling a range of emotions. I felt sadness, fear, anxiety, anticipation, hope, and maybe a touch of insanity. My brother fiddled with the CD player. Thank the gods he was with me. I don’t think I could have made it without him.

I had made the decision months before and saved up the necessary cash. It was still so surreal. I was moving across the country, in one of the worst economies in decades, without a job. I wanted change. Adventure something out of my comfort zone. Two hours on the road and I started to understand the difference between wanting something and actually making it happen. I felt shaky and uncertain and possibly a little sick. I kept driving.

I started to think about our trip as a vacation – a classic American adventure that I would just come back from in a few weeks with tons of pictures and a handful of stories.

We trekked through Las Vegas, Arizona, New Mexico, Oklahoma (dislike button), Tennessee, Virginia, DC, New Jersey, and finally New York.

New York was oddly familiar but foreign for both of us. We grew up there many years before. We went back to some of our old spots, saw old friends, and wandered streets that used to mean something significant but that significance had long faded. It was like walking in a dream that you only half remember.

Then it came time for me to say goodbye to my brother. That’s when it hit me. I’m not going home. California is past - a beautiful sunny dream. I was headed to Boston; a place I had spent some of my happiest childhood memories, the place where my beloved grandparents lived and passed on – where my mom grew up. I was headed to my Aunt’s house to crash because a girl without a job and limited money left had no other choice.

As I pulled into my Aunt’s horseshoe driveway, I felt the love of my grandparents shine down on me. I felt more hope than fear. I knew I would be ok.

Fast forward to today. I have found an incredible life here. I have roommates that have become my sisters, I have good friends, and I job that I love. I’ve had hard times, love, loss, struggle, heartache, frustration, and feelings of great joy. I wouldn’t change a thing!

Happy 1-year anniversary of my Exodus!

My Fantasy Husbands

I was talking to a friend of mine the other day who is smack in the middle of an “Age of Anxiety “ meltdown. For those of you who aren’t familiar with this condition, I will explain further. Once women get to a certain age (usually late 20’s early 30’s) they start to think about finding the perfect man to marry and pop out a couple of kids with. Luckily, this condition has never infected me.

Anyway she was complaining about the lack of available decent men out there and asked me what my perfect man would look like. I laughed at first knowing fully that no one is perfect. I then decided that I could pick and choose traits from my plethora of fantasy husbands to appease her.

James Franco – He is highly intelligent and talent plus he looks like a Greek God.

Eric Northman (Alexander Skarsgard) – Since this is purely fantasy it doesn’t matter that Eric is a character and not a real person. He’s tall and a Viking. He is also sexy, quick, strong and a vampire (so he will look that good forever). If the book and series are any indication, he is an amazing lover. It doesn’t matter to me if he’s got amnesia or if all of his memories are in tact.

Nathan Fillion – He is my Geek husband. There will always be a place in my heart for Captain Mal Reynolds. He is also hysterical, witty, and such a kind hearted prankster.

Brandon Flowers – He is my rock husband. He has a beautiful voice, talented lyrical ability, an interesting fashion sense, and he’s not hard on the eyes. I could however do without his religious beliefs.

There you have it, my perfect man would be a highly intelligent, talented, tall vampire with a beautiful singing voice, features of a Greek or Norse God and a bit of a geeky side. Wouldn’t that be hysterical criteria for my Match.com profile if I had one?

Twilight Versus True Blood

Vampires as mythological creatures have fascinated people for centuries. As the years pass, the depictions and opinions change with the times but the passion never dies. Vampire stories tend to sync up with the culture of the times in which they are written.

A new stage in Vampire Culture has risen from the dark ashes of Dracula's world. Stephenie Meyer and Charlaine Harris have both managed to infect the masses with a new-found vampire fever. Although their message is completely opposite, the characters of these two female authors do share similar traits.

The Twilight Saga and the True Blood series have taken pop culture by storm. There are many attractive traits about the supernatural that help feed our curiosity and fascination. While investigating why Twilight and True Blood are appropriate for today's culture, I created a brief cheat sheet to help highlight the differences and similarities between these two supernatural universes.
Please click on picture for a closer view. Keep clicking to enlarge photo.

Ode to Jacob Black and Sam Merlotte

I really feel for these two hotties. They are always the confidant and never get what they truly want. It sucks to be considered a good “friend” and not a lover. It doesn’t help that both of their desired women have a huge vampire fetish.

Dear Jacob,

You are hot in all ways. Your body temperature is toasty and you have magnificent abs. You also make an adorable pet wolf. You are part human and alive. You age slowly. You are fully capable of finding a woman who appreciates you (not a little girl). Give up your Bella obsession. She likes the cold, hard, pale type that enjoys overacting and reading people’s thoughts.

Dear Sam Merlotte,

You had your chance but you blew it. You are sexy, funny, sweet and magical. You also make a cute pet who doesn't even need walking. Sookie has a thing for Vamps and one sexy Werewolf. You will never be able to make that transition from trusted friend to lover. Instead of sleeping with her best friend, Tara find yourself a trustworthy shifter or Were.