Ode to Luke Perry
I know it’s been over a week since Luke’s sudden death and I
am sure folks are sick of hearing about him BUT too bad. His untimely passing hit me hard and I am
just now sorting out why I am so torn up. Like many women my age, Dylan McKay
was my first TV crush, but he was more than that, he was my junior year of high
school. He had a smile that could light up a room and a kind heart overshadowed
by his bad boy image.
Let me explain better. Like many others, I watched 90210
religiously when I was in high school. I met my first love at the exact same
time Brenda Walsh met hers. Sure, my first love looked nothing like Dylan, but
he embodied some of the same traits. His name was Brian and I fell hard for
him. He was a deadhead, a bad boy with a heart of gold. He drove a BMW. He
struggled with his relationship with his father and intimacy. Although not my
first sexual experience, I literally went through a lot of the same cheesy
trials and tribulations that Brenda did with Dylan. I struggled with
understanding how intense my feelings could be for this one person so quickly.
I defended him when needed to the outside world. Something inside him was
already broken (much like Dylan) and it took him a little longer to really show
and share his true feelings with me. I contemplated when to have sex with this
person, that I felt I truly loved.
When you are 16, everything feels like life and death. You
vent to your close girlfriends about everything you think and feel about your
first love. Brenda confided in Kelly Taylor (who I truly never forgave, even
though the show did their best to make her the hero, once Shannen Dohery was
pushed out). Brenda told it all to Kelly and trusted that her heart and
problems were safe with her best friend. I did the same with my best friend at
the time Maria. Like Brenda, I transferred into a new school and quickly became
really intensely close with Maria. Similar to the show, Brian and I had a brief
separation during one tragic summer. He went out to California to visit family and
came back a distant, different, person. I was devastated and cried and confided
in my best friend, Maria. We stayed up all night talking on the phone, even when I no longer made sense because I was crying so hard. She was trying to help me understand what could have happened. I really did not have a clue. How could he love me
one minute and not the next? What did I do wrong?
What happened was Maria and Brian got together. Not only did
they hook up but then they proceeded to date for an entire year, while I had to
watch. At the same time, Dylan and Kelly hooked up and left Brenda in the dust
(and were together for the rest of HS and then some). Needless to say, I identified with Brenda and
really felt her pain. This show felt so real to me, despite the cheesy dialogue
and the weekly lessons. Now back to Luke Perry…
Despite my heartbreak, I still had love for Luke. I watched
90210 after Brenda left but never felt the same about it. However, as I grew
up, I learned to separate fact from fiction (well most of the time anyway).
Don’t get me started on GOT! I watched Luke Perry grow up, do other things,
like OZ and some independent films. There was always a lightness about him. A
real guy who had substance, led a private life, outside of the Hollywood scene.
Raised a family and brought happiness wherever he went. When I started watching
Riverdale, I was pleasantly surprised to see him come full circle. Now he was
the dad. Not the dick kind of judgy dad that Jim Walsh was but an understanding
chill dad. Ironically, watching Riverdale proves just how old I am. If I was a
Hollywood actor, I would be getting the mom roles right about now. I love the fact
that Skeet Ulrich, Luke Perry, and Madchen Amick are the parents (shout out to
Scream and Twin Peaks fans everywhere)! Point being, I was so happy to see Luke
again and from a different perspective. I am so sad that he is gone from this
world too soon. I know that his light is shining over his family and friends.
His lightness of being, lives on along with his kindness. I will miss you Luke!
Thank you for being my first. RIP buddy!
