It’s funny when you look back on your life and really think
about what you expected your life to be in your thirties. A different picture
comes to mind –one with children, husband, career, pet, and a picket fence.
Somehow when you wake up you discover that the pretty picture you painted for
yourself in those formative years may not be the happily ever after you thought
or even wanted. I have a little confession to make. Although a lover of good films
and what I consider to be good music and food I have a secret guilty
pleasure…it’s Hallmark movies.
There’s always a second chance, sometimes
there’s death and cancer too but mostly they’re about finding that love
(whether it’s a man or a child or a career) when you thought all hope was lost.
As a single woman in her late thirties (gulp) hope, happiness, and contentment
come in all different shapes and sizes. I’m not an unhappy person. I have
family, friends, and a cat that I truly love. I go out on the town and consume great
food and music. I have a job that I love most of the time. My life is far from
empty but the idea that another kind of happily ever after is out there waiting
for me –no matter how trivial, fills me with a sense of wonder and relief. So I
find myself looking towards these films with B actors (or former A ones) as my
second chance - A second chance at love, life, and my own storybook
ending.
I know most folks would laugh at the formulaic, overly sentimental
story-lines and wonder what kind of person eats this stuff up. I guess that kind
of person is me. A former cynic who’s eagerly awaiting what that hope feels
like again –for a fresh start. I recently moved back to a town I used to live.
I’m trying to carve out a new path in a familiar place. I’m desperately trying
to build community in an old place but I want to make that place new. How do
you build a brand new life where so many old memories haunt you? With hope I
guess. Hope for a future unknown but not over-not forgotten. Dare I say that
this is the beginning of a new chapter and if I can just get out of my own way
maybe things will change for the better? Holy crap! That sounds like hope.
