365 days ago, I left my safe and warm house full of support and love for the unknown. As I watched my folks in my rearview and choked back a few tears, I was feeling a range of emotions. I felt sadness, fear, anxiety, anticipation, hope, and maybe a touch of insanity. My brother fiddled with the CD player. Thank the gods he was with me. I don’t think I could have made it without him.
I had made the decision months before and saved up the necessary cash. It was still so surreal. I was moving across the country, in one of the worst economies in decades, without a job. I wanted change. Adventure something out of my comfort zone. Two hours on the road and I started to understand the difference between wanting something and actually making it happen. I felt shaky and uncertain and possibly a little sick. I kept driving.
I started to think about our trip as a vacation – a classic American adventure that I would just come back from in a few weeks with tons of pictures and a handful of stories.
We trekked through Las Vegas, Arizona, New Mexico, Oklahoma (dislike button), Tennessee, Virginia, DC, New Jersey, and finally New York.
New York was oddly familiar but foreign for both of us. We grew up there many years before. We went back to some of our old spots, saw old friends, and wandered streets that used to mean something significant but that significance had long faded. It was like walking in a dream that you only half remember.
Then it came time for me to say goodbye to my brother. That’s when it hit me. I’m not going home. California is past - a beautiful sunny dream. I was headed to Boston; a place I had spent some of my happiest childhood memories, the place where my beloved grandparents lived and passed on – where my mom grew up. I was headed to my Aunt’s house to crash because a girl without a job and limited money left had no other choice.
As I pulled into my Aunt’s horseshoe driveway, I felt the love of my grandparents shine down on me. I felt more hope than fear. I knew I would be ok.
Fast forward to today. I have found an incredible life here. I have roommates that have become my sisters, I have good friends, and I job that I love. I’ve had hard times, love, loss, struggle, heartache, frustration, and feelings of great joy. I wouldn’t change a thing!
Happy 1-year anniversary of my Exodus!
