Screw You Father Time

Why do Americans associate age with such a negative connotation?

Eastern cultures think of aging as something to be revered and respected. With age comes wisdom and clout. Here in America especially, California people think of age as something to be stopped. Women go to great lengths to hide their age through plastic surgery and the art of lying. A woman never reveals her true age especially if she is over 30. This month I turned the ripe age of 33 and I refuse to hide it or feel ashamed. I look damn good and feel better than ever. I think my 30’s so far have been fabulous much better than my 20’s. I am finally comfortable with who I am, the way I look, and what I want to be. I am confident that this year is going to be great. I know what I want to accomplish and will be successful. So, to all the people out there who think 30 is the end, I just want to kindly flip you the bird. Bring on 33. I can’t wait to prove just how amazing this year is going to be.

Have No Doubt

I learned a vital lesson in the last few months - when Doubt rears its ugly head, hit it with a Mack Truck. A few months ago when I finally got my MFA, I was channeling James Cagney and felt like I "Made it, Ma! Top of the world!" All that hard work and borrowed money felt justified. I was so proud of what I learned and the connections I made. That pride and confidence faded fast when faced with the real world. Graduating with idealistic views in a time of economic turmoil is harsh. I knew things would not be easy but I am usually energized by challenge. Recently I have started to feel beat down by the job hunt. The amount of time I spend searching for a job feels like a full-time position. The plethora of resumes and cover letters that I have sent into the Internet black hole is almost unfathomable. The feeling you get after sending out over 25 resumes a week with no response, or fake responses, is Doubt.

Am I smart enough? Do I know the right people? Will I ever be able to pay off my student loans? How can I repay my parents for all the extra help they have given me? Will my brain turn into mush if I don’t use it? Who is really in my corner?

When these inevitable questions enter your mind like a long lost friend, SHUT THEM DOWN. Things are hard right now but they have been hard before. You are smart. There are just a lot of other smart people out there looking for a break too. I have decided to embrace the challenge not just by alcohol and denial, but also by creating something from my struggle. I am starting a blog focused solely on my struggles to find a job in this economy. I will be featuring my own thrilling story as well as stories of others battling the same demons. Please let me know if you are willing to share.